Fucking chicks. I didn't know there was a kitchen or laundry room somewhere in the sea. Did Ariel tell you to find that shit on a distance swim because otherwise I've got the facilities for you to make me a sandwich and press my oxfords. They say third time is the charm but apparently not for Diana Nyad who made her third FAILED attempt at swimming like 80 miles from Cuba to Florida. This time the cause of failure was Portugese Man-O-War stings which I admit would fucking suck. The thing that irks me most about this is not the fact that this 61 year old broad has nothing better to do, because old people really have nothing better to do and I know when I'm old I want to go to sea to die because I'm a sailor but I don't plan on swimming myself to death but rather a combination of excessive rum, cigars, illicit substances, and prostitutes. The thing that irks me the most is that this bitch has a whole team of people to do this with. She has divers swimming next to her the whole time to fend off sharks. She's got doctors and a chase boat and the media etc. You know how much that shit has to cost because I don't but I imagine it's a fucking lot. If you wanna go break records or whatever you geriatrics do do that shit on your own. I got no respect for a record that required a whole fucking team of people to accomplish. That's not a record that's a stunt. Fucking chicks man.
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