Charlie Sheen for President

 

UPDATE 5:10 PM:  Charlie Sheen had a briefcase of cocaine delivered to his house during his party.  It allegedly contained bricks of cocaine.  WOW.

Bud Fox is at again ladies and gentlemen.  This morning Charlie Sheen was rushed to the hospital with severe abdominal pains resulting from what was no doubt another epic party.  Reports are swirling saying that Charlie was partying at his house with 5 count 'em 5 young ladies and one of them was you guessed it another porn star.  The lucky porn star is Kacey Jordan and she's 22 years old.  I can't say I'm familiar with her work but after a quick google image search I'm now acquainted.  Not bad...she's no Bree Olson but she's a hottie no less.  Now I'm sure fairies like Perez Hilton will be blasting the internet waves condemning Charlie for this latest night of debauchery but like I've said before this man is just living the dream.  Sure sometimes you'll get rushed to the ER on a Thursday morning but that's just the price you pay for smashing 5 girls in the course of 24 hours.  There's no doubt in my mind he got down with each one.  I don't think I'd even make it to the ER if I slammed 5 girls in one night.  The coroner would show up and find me laying in bed with no pulse and the biggest shit eating grin anyone's ever seen.  If he makes it to 2012 I'm writing him in the Presidential ballot.  This shit would be way more entertaining than having Obama in office...it's not like things could get much worse with Charlie at the helm of the country.  Pictures of Charlie's new porn starlet Kacey Jordan are below.  She's got that whore look in her eye like a motherfucker...gotta love girls with daddy issues...they make the world go 'round.