The Most Annoying People On Facebook

There are a few types of people on facebook that I just want to stab in the face.  This will never happen because I'm a pretty chill person and I can never imagine being aggressive towards someone unless they were doing something to me at the same time.  So with that premise I'd like to introduce you the 5 biggest assholes on facebook.

1.  In a Relationship- yea no fucking shit you're in a relationship.  Everyone of your friends noticed that shit in their newsfeed when you made it official.  I personally think relationships are the biggest waste of time in the world because no guy in their 20's knows where he wants to stick his dick for the rest of his life.  Fact.  I'm pretty sure no girl wants to be banging the same guy for the next 80 years either...that's why cheating happens.  People get bored.  Besides this it's just dumb as fuck to declare your love for someone via the internet.  The people I love most know that I love them because of the relationships I maintain with them.  So...asshole with the pic of you and your girlfriend holding hands...cut your losses short...she probably sucked someone off at the last "girl's night" she had.

2.  People that put their mood in their status- yea we all have emotions but you know what?  80% of us don't shout it out to the world.  Having a bad day?  Be a man and go buy a bottle of scotch and stop being a fucking pussy.  Who the fuck wants to get on facebook and see their news feed clogged with your sissy ass shit?  I'll tell you who...NO ONE.  Sack up and act like a man...pussy. 

3.  The political/religious people...yea I went to Catholic school for 12 years...probably the biggest mistake of my life...it just turned me into the rebel without a cause that I am today.  Either way facebook is for connecting and for getting laid so keep your political and religious opinions at home.  And I'm sure I'll get heat for that statement but you know what?  I go on facebook to either get laid or to promote myself and it works like a charm therefore shut the fuck up about politics and religion...go find another forum because no one here gives a fuck.

4.  Hipsters- just go away...you guys are worst than locusts.
5.  Family- I love them to death but they can be straight narc's.  Busting me out about status updates that I'm drunk and having a threesome on a Sunday afternoon.  Just kidding I'm still a virgin...vagina is for sinners.  PSYCHE!!!  I love sex I love booze I love drugs.  I'm a Charlie Sheen in the making and I have no regrets.
HONORABLE MENTION- I just looked at my newsfeed and saw a girl I used to fuck who is just desperate for attention...she airs all her dirty laundry via facebook....yea cool you like it dirty and rough...I could have told anyone that...how desperate do you have to be to tell the world how you like it in the sack?  I"m guessing pretty desperate.  I have no ill feelings towards this girl but her status updates just make me realize why I didn't want to fuck her anymore...as gay as it sounds dumb girls are the worst....not to mention this broad is an Abercrombie model and they only hire smoke shows.  For shame.
And now you're privileged enough to know the 5 types of people that I can't stand on facebook.  Cheers kids.